We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
