She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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