Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
