i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
