Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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