I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize