He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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