have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
