Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
