Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
