My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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