Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
