I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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