Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
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