I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
