So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
