god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
two words...techno handjob
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
