its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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