dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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