I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
