grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
