i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
