know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
