Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
