I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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