He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
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I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
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People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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