i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
