The best revenge is premature balding
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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