Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
