it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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