You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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