Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
