before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
