No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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