this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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