She is in my trunk
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize