so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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