Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
