i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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