That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
