Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
