dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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