So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
