Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
smell my finger.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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