____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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