Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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