sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
