ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
two words...techno handjob
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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