My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
