but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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