Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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