im gay
i know
yea but for you.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
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Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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