I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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