I hope mine doesn't look like that
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
