It's like God shit irony all over that family
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
