I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
