We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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