after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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