The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
