put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize