so explain again why im purple
no
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
