He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
