The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
