new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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