I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize