dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
