yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
