dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
